Community Reflections: National Disability Awareness Month, Reflection 3

 

She and her husband take great care to ensure that consistency and routine are hallmarks of their home life. But life in the real world is unpredictable, she notes, creating a level of challenge that can be difficult. Ironically, such challenge underscores some of Elizabeth’s remarkable qualities, like “incredible resilience and an unbelievable amount of persistence.”

 

Resilience and persistence are invaluable traits not only for special needs children but for their families as well. “It’s important to be mindful that when a family member has special needs, the entire family is impacted. Parenting requires exceptional balance, and parents of children with disabilities work overtime to create balance between siblings. Harrison and her husband are very mindful of how Elizabeth’s needs affect her younger sister, Maeve. “Sometimes attention is lopsided and imbalanced – and that doesn’t feel fair, and that can be frustrating for young kids.”

It’s also important for others to respect that family dynamics play out differently from family to family. She and her husband have found tremendous support from the families at the Julie Billiart School, where Elizabeth has been enrolled since kindergarten. “We’ve all been walking this road together, and we’ve come to understand and respect each other so that we can be honest with and available for each other. Having people who can truly understand what we’re going through has been really important for our family.”

The Harrison family has also found tremendous support at Hawken. “A great gift of the Hawken community has been the safety and acceptance both Maeve and I have found here – and Elizabeth, too. The day that Maeve shared with her class about Elizabeth and autism was a very important day for her, and I know that it happened because of the community she’s been growing up in AND the adults she’s been growing up around.”

Harrison explains that little in our world is set up for those who are neuro-atypical like Elizabeth – a fact that rarely crosses the minds of the majority of neuro-typical people. “Elizabeth is figuring out her way around a world that’s not straightforward – so making strides in that regard is a true accomplishment” – an accomplishment that goes unnoticed by many. “I like to think we are moving in the right direction for supporting people with disabilities or differences, but there is still a lot of work to be done – work that requires an open mind and an open heart, that asks us to really observe and to take time to understand. We have to shift the narrative from people having a difference to people living with a difference. I hope that opens people up to a bit more acceptance.”

Harrison’s experience with her daughter has made her far more aware of how important it is “to truly know and understand young kids in a way that is multi-faceted and multi-dimensional – really digging deep and trying to understand what strengths they might have that might not be immediately evident.” Emphasizing how this has impacted her teaching, she explains, “I’ve learned that children are so much more than their disability – and that’s helped me be much more mindful as a teacher not to let a diagnosis, disability, or label of any kind affect how I view their potential. Sometimes you have to work a lot harder to understand and know them, but in the end, it is worth it.”

And the kids, she attests, instinctively feel it – something she has witnessed in her own students and in her daughter. “Elizabeth knows when someone is taking the time to get to know her; she knows who really cares, who she can count on, and who she can trust. And those are the people who have taken a lot more time to get to know her and have been really consistent with her. So I think as a teacher, it reminds me of the importance of consistency and getting to know the kids and understanding all of their layers.”

Elizabeth has influenced Harrison in other beneficial ways as well. “I think as a person, my eyes are so much more widely open now than they were before. I know not to judge something by what I see in just a moment.” She adds, “I used to be kind of afraid of the world of special education or disabilities or learning differences – I guess because they were things I never really had to understand. Now I do. In the beginning, I wondered if I was equipped for this, but then I realized I don’t have a choice… and I want to be the best that I can be for Elizabeth and give her all the opportunities that she needs and deserves.”

And Harrison plainly states that because being a mom is the most important thing she’ll ever do, “I am just a little bit braver than I thought I was because I’ve had to be.” And, drawing a parallel between herself and her daughter, she adds, “I’m also more persistent. I never give up. And I’ve learned to embrace the world with compassion and humanity perhaps more than I would have otherwise.”